The Plus Sign

Before we got married, we had decided that we definitely wanted to have kids. Zach wanted to wait 10 years from when we got married. He was down to 5 years by the time we got married. I certainly wanted to wait a few years before starting a family. I knew we needed that time to get to know each other and how to live together. After a couple of years though, I started talking about having a baby a little more often. I didn't want to push him, but I wanted him to know I was thinking about it. The absolute last thing I ever wanted was for him to give in and agree to try for kids before he was ready or even try and trick him into getting pregnant. I seriously had someone tell me that I did have control over it and could go ahead if I wanted to. CRAZY! There was no way I could never do that... what a horrible way to start a pregnancy.

He kept saying he wasn't ready and I finally just told him to let me know when he was ready. He knew how I felt and there was no need in me bugging him about it all the time. In December 2008, after driving home with good reports from a medical test he had done, he told me he was ready!

We decided that we wouldn't tell anyone that we were trying, to keep it a surprise for everyone. And to take pressure off of us. We hoped it would happen the first time around and were so very disappointed when it didn't. Over the next few months, we felt that disappointment again and again. We realized that it hadn't been that long, but it really seemed liked ages. It was so hard for me not to say anything to anyone, especially my mom.

I caved after a couple of months and told my best friend. Zach knew I was going to and was fine with it... he knew I needed a girl to talk to about it all. What a friend she is! She called me every so often, just checking to see how I was doing. What a blessing it was to have her support and prayers during that time! But I have to say that the time was even more special for Zach and me. It was good for me to just have him to talk to and share everything with. I loved having our little secret and even though the time was frustrating and disappointing, I think it brought us a little closer together.

For my entire life, I'd always been very "regular". And of course when I started on the pill, I was literally like clockwork. After I stopped the pill, I was so irregular. Which made things very hard to "plan". It was actually quite frustrating and after taking a few pregnancy tests and getting the very disappointing single line, I decided I couldn't do it anymore. I wasn't going to take another test until I was sure.

That time came on my birthday. I had planned to take it first thing that morning but woke up at like 4 and decided there was no since trying to go back to sleep. I got up and took the test. Immediately, I saw the line change from one single line to the plus sign. There was no denying it! I went and woke up Zach and shared the good news.

We were going to be parents.

Not our best pic ever... but this was the day we found out!!