1. My faith. I believe that the Lord could take this away from gk and my family and heal her instantly. I believe He is still in the miracle business. And then there’s His will. What if it’s His will that this not be taken away from her? What if it’s His will that she walk this road of uncertainty and we as her family are to walk beside her with all the love and support we can give? Does asking these questions mean that I don’t believe He can heal her? I don’t think so.
Last week and this week, portions of the sermon were about His will. Last week we were challenged to take up our cross daily. We must daily surrender our will to His will. Dying to our plans, ambitions, dreams, and goals. The example was given of the night before Jesus died, He prayed “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done." (Luke 22:42). Even the Lord prayed to have His situation taken from Him. But in the same breath He prayed “not my will but yours be done.”
Today one of the notes I jotted down was that it’s God’s will that we give thanks in the midst of every circumstance. I Thessalonians 5:18 says “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus”.
It is my prayer that His will be done in my life. If that includes that He is not going to take the cancer from my grandmother then I know that He will see me through. He will be glorified in this situation. If it is His will to heal gk then He will see me through that too and will be glorified through it. And I will give thanks through it all.
This doesn’t mean that it will be easy. It doesn’t mean that my heart won’t ache for gk and for my mom. It doesn’t mean that I will regularly have to be reminded that He is sovereign and good. It doesn’t mean that He won’t have to carry me some of the way. But it does mean that I trust Him. No matter how hard, He will be there. And when I get angry and ask why us, why now... I will come back to what He is teaching me today.
2. The Unknown. I need a plan. I need to know what to expect.
At this point I don’t really know what to expect. And I’m getting to the point where that’s ok. I’m reminded of these lyrics from “Because He Lives”
Because He lives, I can face tomorrow.Thank you Father for teaching me. For growing me during this time of uncertainty. Thank you for being the Rock. Never changing. And always there.
Because He lives, All fear is gone.
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living just because He lives.
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