Moving On

It's typically not a good idea to quit one job before having another one, especially when there are bills to pay! But... I had my reasons for why I turned in my resignation when I did...

1. One of my bosses is not always in the office and I wanted to tell her in person.
2. I am in a field where there are more jobs than there are qualified people to fill them.
3. I knew this was what I was supposed to do and wanted it to be done!
4. I already had an interview scheduled for that week.

The interview went well and I was essentially offered the position, but was very disappointed in the pay difference. I knew when applying it would be a pay cut, but I found out what it was I knew there was no way we could make it work. I was so disappointed. I really wanted this and thought it was what the Lord had for me.

I started checking around on the internet and calling other places to find out if they had openings and I found my ideal job. I mean it was PERFECT for me. I would get to work with kids and adults, have a great schedule, and the pay was perfect. I just knew the Lord had led me to this position and there was no reason why it wouldn't work out.

I went to the interview and it went well. We talked about benefits and what my offer would be and I pretty much had the job. Because it was the right thing to do, I felt the need to tell her that I had been offered a position with the company I interviewed with first. (I know this is confusing, but I would have been working with the people from the first interview but as an employee of the second company and I wanted the company to know about it.) She appreciated me being honest and open with her and said she would check into everything and get back with me. Three days later I got an email saying "the timing of everything was too close" and they were not going to be able to hire me at this time.

To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I can not even describe the grief and hurt and anger and confusion and fear and then apathy that I felt. It was probably the lowest point I have ever felt. It was about way more than not getting the job. I honestly believed that this was the position the Lord had for me and I began to question what I believed. Yet again, I had tried to do the right thing and it cost me something I dearly wanted. And I was afraid I had cost myself a future with either of the two companies. I was inconsolable. I didn't care what anyone (mom, dad, zach) told me. I was ready to give up.

But those closest to me were not going to let me give up. Zach took me out, doing what we like to do... just driving around to cool off. He was supportive and angry for me but not afraid to tell me we have to move on. Mom called and left messages on my phone trying to encourage me. And I got this email from my little brother

Hey Sis

I heard the news about that job. That sucks. But you know what?? GOD has a plan for you. He always has. You may not know it or see it right now, but HE will work things out. Look at what you have done in your life. You were a great student. You never once compromised your beliefs and morals just to fit in. You have not 1 but 2 degrees. . I'm still a freshman..lol. Your married and have your own house and a cute little puppy. I have always looked up to you, sis. even though I picked at you and we had and still have our disagreements, I always hoped to aspire to as many successes as you. I have a Verse that I think goes great with what you are going through right now. Ephesians 1: 11- 14 "In HIM we were chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out EVERYTHING in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And YOU also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel fo your salvation. Having believed you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's poessession- to praise his glory." I know that you are still upset and this message is not intended to make you feel better, but to encourage you that "it came to Pass" it didn't come to stay. All those feelings... anger, frustration, sorrow, uncertainty.... they came to pass and they will.. in time. Know the I LOVE you very much, big sis, and that I am always here for you.

In Christ

Ben

P.S.

Soon I will be 24 and you will be 25..... HA.

Over the next few days, I also read this post and watched this video and was reminded of this video and this story.

I was able to talk with both of the companies and apologize (though in reality I did nothing wrong and I'm not just saying that) for how the situation turned out. Both hated how the situation turned out but said they would love to have me in the future. I was very relieved!

While dealing with all of this, I still had to move on. Reality was that no matter how much I wanted that job and believed it was "perfect" for me, it was not going to happen and I had to move on. I still felt strongly that I did not need to stay where I was, though I had been told several times that I was more than welcome to stay. So the search continued. Thankfully I'm in a field that has lots of options and openings and I had heard of several opportunities.

I pursued a couple of those opportunities and have been hired by two companies and will piece together a full time position working in a variety of settings. Though with one of them when I called to accept the position, it turned out she had another interview and was going to have to "get back with me". Thankfully, I heard back later that afternoon. The variety of settings will give me good experience and change things up a bit for me.

Perhaps more importantly than finding a job, I am moving on. Looking forward to what He has planned that will be way better than my picture of a perfect job situation.

Turns out what Ben quoted was exactly what happened... "this too shall pass".

Thank you Father, for lessons learned. For a renewed heart. For not giving up on me when I want to give up. For the people You have given me here that truly love me. And for a reminder that You truly are sovereign.