Resignation

About a month ago I had a meltdown. Every time I felt like I would get ahead on issues at work, I would fall ten steps back. I was tired of dealing with issues that really do not matter to me. Tired of trying to do the right thing and it still not being enough. Tired of being an advocate for a department that people do not understand. Tired of feeling like even my very best efforts were never going to be good enough. And I lost it.

I held it together well enough at work, but thanks to my mother's side of the family, there was no way I could hide my tears and that I was upset. So I left. At 2:30 in the afternoon on a Wednesday I left. I stacked up my stuff, left paperwork undone, charges not entered, left patients unseen, grabbed my purse and left.

I cried all the way home. And a little more when I got home. My sweet husband did his best to console me but it was no easy job. We went out to dinner and he made the suggestion that I just go ahead start looking elsewhere. It's been talked about before but until then, I just wasn't ready. And he and I both knew that I could not just step down as Lead Therapist and stay as SLP. The issues would still be there and it would just be too hard.

That night I started looking for positions. The next night I submitted my application online and by Friday morning I had interview for the next week.

Monday morning I turned in my four weeks notice. I felt good about it. I had prayed and prayed over it and I just knew it was the right thing to do. It was hard, but I felt good after it was over. Thankfully, my bosses were receptive and supportive, but also very clearly let me know they would like me stay. I politely told them thanks, but I was ready to move on. I announced it to a shocked therapy department at both facilities that afternoon. No one had any idea except for my closest friend at work and all were surprised, but totally understood. They all know the stress and difficult time I've had.

My next task... to find a job.